Why You’re Feeling More Anxious This Holiday Season (And What to Do About It)

If you’re feeling more anxious this holiday season, you’re not imagining it, and you’re not alone.

Anxiety about the holidays rarely shows up as one big dramatic moment. It’s usually a quieter, constant edge you can’t shake. You might be having trouble sleeping or feel like your brain can’t slow down even when you’re trying to rest.

If you’ve been asking yourself, “Why am I anxious during the holidays?”, there’s usually a real reason.

Seasonal anxiety in December tends to show up because a lot is being asked of you right now—emotionally, mentally, and logistically.

As a therapist in Brooklyn, NY, I see this every year. Holiday anxiety doesn’t come out of nowhere, and it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.

It usually means you’re carrying more than usual.

Why Holiday Anxiety Feels Worse in December

December has a way of piling things on.

There’s more to do, more to manage, more to feel, and there’s less time, less energy, and less space to process any of it. Anxiety triggers in December tend to stack on top of whatever you’re already dealing with.

For many people, holiday anxiety is fueled by:

• Pressure to feel happy or grateful

• Disrupted routines and poor sleep

• Financial stress or end-of-year deadlines

• Family dynamics

• Grief that feels louder this time of year

• Caregiving and parenting responsibilities that don’t slow down

According to the American Psychological Association, anxiety increases during the holidays because expectations rise while emotional capacity doesn’t always follow. Research through NIH and PubMed also shows that stress and anxiety spike when routines are disrupted, which December does very well.

So if your anxiety is louder right now, it’s not random. It makes sense.

What Holiday Anxiety Actually Looks Like

Holiday anxiety doesn’t always feel like worry. Sometimes it looks like:

• Being irritable or short-tempered

• Feeling constantly “on” or tense

• Overthinking everything at night

• Avoiding plans because you’re already exhausted

• Feeling dread about things you think you should enjoy

If this is you, nothing is broken. Your nervous system is just overwhelmed.

Why Some People Feel December Anxiety More Intensely

For some, the holidays hit harder, especially if life already feels heavy.

Holiday anxiety often feels more intense when you’re:

• Grieving someone or something you’ve lost

• Caregiving for a loved one with ongoing needs

• Parenting while already stretched thin

• Going through a relationship or job change

• Living with anxiety or depression year-round

The holidays have a way of highlighting what’s missing, unresolved, or unfinished. Add pressure on top of that, and anxiety has room to grow.

Coping With Holiday Anxiety Without Forcing Calm

Here’s the straight-up truth: coping with holiday anxiety doesn’t mean getting rid of it. It means responding differently when it shows up.

These are realistic ways to cope with holiday anxiety that don’t require more effort or perfection.

1. Stop Asking “What’s Wrong With Me?”

One of the quickest ways to make holiday anxiety worse is turning it into a personal failure.

Instead of:

“Why can’t I just enjoy this?”

Try:

“Of course I’m anxious—this season asks a lot.”

That shift alone can take the edge off.

2. Figure Out What Actually Triggers Your Anxiety in December

Not all holiday anxiety comes from the same place.

Ask yourself:

• Is it the schedule?

• The money?

• Family expectations?

• Grief?

• Too much noise, too many people, too little rest?

Knowing your anxiety triggers in December gives you leverage. You can’t change what you haven’t named.

3. Do Less When Your Anxiety Is High

When anxiety is up, doing more usually backfires.

Coping with holiday anxiety sometimes means:

• Fewer plans

• More space between obligations

• Leaving early

• Saying no without a long explanation

This isn’t avoidance. It’s listening to your nervous system.

4. Don’t Let Your Basic Needs Be the First Thing to Go

December anxiety gets worse when sleep, meals, and movement fall apart.

You don’t need a perfect routine. You just need to not abandon yourself completely.

• Eat something, even if it’s simple

• Go to bed when you can

• Move your body a little to shake out tension

Research from NIH consistently shows that lack of sleep increases anxiety. This one matters more than most people want to admit.

5. Boundaries Lower Anxiety (Even When People Are Disappointed)

This is one of the hardest parts of coping with holiday anxiety, so let’s be honest about it.

Setting boundaries during the holidays often means someone might feel disappointed. A parent. A sibling. A partner. An in-law. And for a lot of people, that’s exactly where anxiety spikes.

Letting people be disappointed doesn’t mean being cold, careless, or selfish. It means accepting that you can’t meet everyone’s expectations and take care of your mental health at the same time.

In real life, this might look like:

• Going to the gathering, but not staying as long as you usually do

• Skipping an event entirely because you don’t have the capacity this year

• Choosing not to engage in certain conversations, even if others want you to

• Saying, “This is what I can do,” instead of stretching yourself to the point of resentment

Someone may feel let down. They might comment on it. They might not fully understand your choice. And yes, this can feel incredibly uncomfortable, especially if you’re used to keeping the peace.

Here’s the part we don’t say enough: discomfort is not the same as danger. Someone else’s disappointment does not mean you’ve done something wrong.

When you stop organizing your decisions around how others might react, anxiety loosens its grip. Boundaries don’t make you difficult; they make the holidays survivable.

6. Ground Anxiety in the Moment It Shows Up

Anxiety doesn’t usually wait for a convenient time.

When it hits:

• Notice something physical—your feet on the floor, the chair under you

• Hold something warm or grounding

• Step into another room or outside to reset

You don’t have to make the anxiety stop. You just have to keep it from running the show.

7. Let Anxiety Exist Without Giving It the Mic

Coping with holiday anxiety isn’t about pretending you’re fine.

You’re allowed to:

• Feel anxious and still show up

• Take breaks without guilt

• Adjust expectations mid-season

Anxiety doesn’t get to decide who you are or how well you’re doing the holidays.

8. Get Support Before December Anxiety Takes Over

You don’t have to wait until you’re spiraling to ask for help.

Therapy can help you:

• Understand your anxiety patterns

• Learn tools that actually fit your life

• Process grief, burnout, and overload

• Feel less alone during a heavy season

Many people I work with in Brooklyn and across Long Island say that talking things through before the holidays made the biggest difference.

When Holiday Anxiety Is Tied to Grief or Big Life Changes

Sometimes anxiety is grief wearing a different outfit.

Missing someone. Mourning a version of life that no longer exists. Adjusting to new responsibilities or losses.

Support for grief and life transitions is a core part of the work at Evolving Through Grief Counseling Services

Coping With Holiday Anxiety in New York

If you’re feeling more anxious this holiday season, you’re not failing, and you’re not alone. Anxiety in December or anxiety during the holidays is a common response to a season that asks a lot from people who are already doing their best.

Coping with holiday anxiety isn’t about forcing joy. It’s about being honest, setting limits, and getting support when you need it.

If you’re looking for support with holiday anxiety in New York, therapy can help you feel steadier, clearer, and less overwhelmed.

👉 Schedule counseling in Brooklyn, NY with Evolving Through Grief Counseling Services and get support for holiday anxiety before it takes over.